How to Talk to Your Children and Teens About Mental Health Struggles
Mental health affects people of all ages, including children and teens. If you’re located in Georgia, we were once again reminded of this due to an event this past week at a local middle school. As a therapist who has worked with children and teens earlier in my career, I thought it would be helpful to write this to help you have talks with your children and teens about mental health. Many parents feel uncertain about how to start conversations about mental health struggles. Whether your child is experiencing anxiety, depression, or simply having a tough time, open, compassionate discussions are key to building emotional intelligence, resilience and a strong support system at home. Here’s how to approach these topics with your kids.
1. Start Early and Normalize Mental Health Discussions
Begin talking about emotions and mental health when children are young. By normalizing these conversations, you create an environment where they feel safe sharing their feelings. Use everyday language to describe emotions and stress.
Example for Younger Children:
“Everyone feels sad or worried sometimes. It’s just like when we catch a cold — it’s normal, and there are ways to feel better.”
Example for Teens:
“You’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. How have you been feeling? It’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed — I’m here to help if you want to talk.” Additionally, focus on connecting mental health with real-life experiences they may relate to, such as school stress or social pressure.
2. Choose the Right Time and Place
Timing matters when discussing sensitive topics. Choose a calm, private moment when neither you nor your child feels rushed. Car rides, walks, or quiet times before bed can create comfortable settings for open conversations.
Avoid starting these conversations when emotions are already high. If they seem upset, acknowledge their feelings first and come back to the topic when things are calmer.
3. Be Open, Honest, and Age-Appropriate
Children and teens need honest, clear explanations tailored to their age and understanding.
For younger children:
“Sometimes, people feel sad or scared for a long time. It’s not their fault, and there are ways to help them feel better, just like we help our bodies get better when we’re sick.”
For teens:
“Mental health struggles, like anxiety and depression, are common. Talking about them doesn’t mean something is wrong with you — it just means you’re human, and there’s help available.”
Honesty builds trust. If you’re managing your own mental health challenges, share in a way that reassures them you are taking care of yourself while emphasizing that they are not responsible for your well-being.
4. Listen Without Judgment
One of the most powerful things you can do is listen. Don’t rush to offer solutions or try to problem solve. Ask if they want to be listened to or if they want help solving a problem. Create space for your child or teen to talk about their feelings without fear of punishment or dismissal. Reflect their feelings back to them to show you understand.
Example:
“It sounds like you’ve been feeling really anxious about school. That must be exhausting.”
Avoid minimizing their experiences with phrases like, “It’s not that bad,” or “You’ll get over it.” Instead, offer validation and support.
5. Teach Emotional Vocabulary and Coping Skills
Help children and teens label their emotions and develop strategies for managing them. Younger children may need simple words like “happy,” “sad,” or “frustrated,” while teens can handle more nuanced terms like “overwhelmed” or “isolated.”
Offer coping strategies:
•For younger children: Deep breathing, drawing, or using a “calm corner.”
•For teens: Journaling, listening to music, or learning mindfulness exercises.
Encourage problem-solving by asking, “What do you think might help?”
6. Model Healthy Emotional Expression
Children learn how to manage emotions by watching their parents. Share your feelings appropriately and demonstrate healthy ways to cope.
Example:
“I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm down.”
This shows that it’s okay to have strong emotions and that there are constructive ways to handle them.
7. Discuss the Importance of Getting Help
Talking to a therapist or counselor is a sign of strength, not weakness. Explain that professionals help people with mental health just like doctors help with physical health.
Example for Children:
“Sometimes, we need help with our feelings. A counselor can teach us ways to feel better, just like a coach helps us get better at sports.”
Example for Teens:
“A therapist can be someone neutral to talk to, someone who can help you understand what you’re feeling and give you tools to manage it.”
Reassure them that seeking help is normal and encouraged. If necessary, involve them in choosing a therapist or support resource.
8. Break the Stigma
Combat negative beliefs about mental health by using positive, non-judgmental language. Correct any misconceptions they may have.
Example:
“Feeling anxious or sad doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re human. Everyone needs help at some point, and it’s okay to ask for it.”
Encourage empathy for others by talking about how people experience mental health challenges differently.
Final Thoughts
Talking to children and teens about mental health may feel daunting, but it’s one of the most important conversations you can have. By normalizing emotions, listening with empathy, and modeling healthy behaviors, you create a strong foundation for your child’s lifelong emotional well-being.
If you notice persistent signs of distress, such as changes in mood, behavior, or sleep, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Early intervention makes a world of difference.
Remember: You don’t have to have all the answers — being present, open, and supportive is what matters most. If you need help finding a therapist, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your school, church, synagogue for referrals. If you need to use your insurance, they can give you a list of providers.